How to Grieve

Charlie Brown, Grieving Good

Let me tell you about one of the worst things I’ve ever done. I was a freshman in college when my first grandparent died. It was my grandfather on my father’s side. I was going to school in Worcester, Massachusetts at the time, and my grandparents had lived in Maine. My parents were flying out from Michigan to attend the funeral, and they flew into Worcester so they could pick me up there and we could all drive up to Maine together. Continue reading

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Louis C.K. Is a Gross Human Being and I’m Depressed

I wasn’t in a great mood today to begin with. I’m sick, one of my cats is sick, and it’s just generally been one of those weeks when it feels like nothing is going my way. But this New York Times article that came out today about Louis C.K. was really the frosting on my bad mood cupcake. It’s not that it was a surprise. After Tig Notaro turned against him, it seemed like only a matter of time until the other shoe dropped. Reading about the extent to which C.K. used his status to sexually abuse women, though, is just stomach turning. Continue reading

Ten Tips for Dealing with Loneliness

Scott Pilgrim Alone in the Desert

What if your whole life you thought you were an introvert and then in your late 30s you discovered you are actually an extrovert who is just terrible at socializing? That’s what happened to me in the last year, through a combination of being dumped and then going to therapy. Now I live by myself most of the time and my primary activity is thinking about how much I don’t like that.

I have, however, learned a little bit about what works and what does not work when it comes to dealing with loneliness, so I thought I would pass along some helpful tips for other lonely people. Continue reading

Five Alternate Endings for Last Friday Morning

Last Friday morning was a difficult one. A little after nine months after separating from my wife, I finally made the soul-crushing journey down to the local circuit court to file for divorce. It was an overwhelming experience in many ways. It was expensive. The paperwork was confusing. And worst of all, it meant I could no longer be in denial that our marriage was over. Continue reading

Death or Something Like It

Last night I walked around downtown Grand Rapids, feeling like a ghost who was haunting the city. You don’t have to die to leave your life behind; people do it all the time for different reasons. You can build up an idea of who you are, what your identity is, and have it pulled out from underneath you like the tablecloth in a cheap parlor trick. You’re left suspended in air for that brief moment before—like Wile E. Coyote in a Road Runner cartoon—you realize with horror that you’ve been defying the laws of physics. Then when you finally hit the ground, it doesn’t feel like you’ll ever get back up. Continue reading